He enjoys time travel and brazilian jiu jitsu.

{tags crafts felt handmade toys}

Hobbies include: drinking milk, staring contests and ice sculpture.

{tags crafts felt handmade toys}

at work, yep I sure do. I have standard scenarios that I visit pretty much daily; most popular are post-apocalyptic end of the world scenes that involve me being a badass warrior/survivor type crafting clever lifesaving solutions for dangerous life in a chaotic world of thiefs, killers, and hybrids. Different things play out but the basis is always the same: I’m a deadly streetfighter, I have the best outfits, and I ALWAYS save the day. Always.

Also in demand are the I’m wildly rich and famous and travel in the most exotic high-profile circles fantasies. At some point I’ll see someone I haven’t seen in years and pretend I don’t know them at first and then make a big scene about an amazing thing I have or am doing. I know this is really shallow but I’m usually charitable about buying them a ferrari or paying off their mortgage or something. Money is NO object. And I travel ALL the time.

{tags post-apocalyptic day dreams worriors hybrids}

Let us get this started good and proper; here is a story from last weekend. First I’ll set the stage: its Sunday at about 6p and I’ve been doing laundry all day and staring at my computer screen like a zombie for hours. Its a beautiful day but rather than do anything I repeat the day before, don’t shower and wonder around the house working on being stinky in pure anti-social fashion. By six I’m calling it a day and trying to decide where to get takeout from and what dvd to watch….bzzzz, bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Uh wtf, I IM my husband from downstairs who is upstairs; is he expecting anyone? Nope. Whateves, not gonna answer it, clearly an insane person trying to kill me is at the door. BZZZZZZZZZ, jesus now i’m definately not getting it because WHO in their right mind would knowingly let an angry gang of blood thirsty vampires into their house!?

Anyway chris is not scared of anything so he picks up the intercom “hello”. (Read: hello youcrazymotherfuckeriwillkillyou)

“Hi, it’s dave!” Okay, Dave is Chris’s boss and he’s here with his wife and son for dinner. A dinner I thought was for next weekend, a dinner I have not cooked. Meltdown. My head is swirling: what to do, put a bra on, kill the husband, go to the store, dispose of the body, put toilet paper in the downstairs bathroom. The house is a mess, I’m a mess – exposed, the real me-in ALL my glory. A deer in the headlights, grrrrr. I pull myself together sort of, put on my big girl pants and run to the market for food, flowers and ice. Luckily dave and family are wicked awsome and Tolly is the coolest and helped cook. Chris put the playoffs on the projector while he and Dave got all poindexter with computers and gadgetry and young Nathan was in heaven with Chris’s lego mindstorms. It all worked out beautifully and was lots of fun but I guess I’ll never be able to feign the got-it-together-impeccable-cook-sparkly-housed-wifey image with them because they most definately know better.

{tags ice flowers dinner lego mindstorms}