Yeaha, mmm hmnn. Just look at those freshest of fresh clams. Freshie Freshingtons were still jumping in the bag before selflessly succumbing to their savory fate, the little sweetheartsss. Lets talk about sauce bay-be, lets talk about you and me. Your tomato-ey tang, your smooth moves with the wine, and the cannellini – like velvet baby. The scallops, though, they were just uncalled for. Showoff.

{tags littlenecks scallops cannellini recipe}

It always starts out so innocent…

{tags hamster whisperer needed}

• I am reaching critical mass in the the eyebrow department. They are joining forces much faster these days to form what I believe to be a united front against my forehead. The current ambiguous separation that’s happening is affecting my brain in the most subversive of ways. For example, I can’t help but wonder, what if foresake the salon forever? Secretly, I dare myself to do nothing about the situation at hand. What would become of me? This *is* LA afterall, would they pass an emergency city ordinance stating it’s okay to shoot if I’m seen within 100 feet of your place of business? As it stands, an exciting new life as a wookie continues to encroach upon my fading human status at alarming rates. Don’t be afraid, I’m just like you.

• What the holy hell is going on in my chatroom? Right now we have Sharon stone trying to get you to look downtown if you get my drift, perscription drugs for sale, milf’s for hire, online casinos, airline tickets, medical malpractice assistance, and home mortgage loans all conveniently holding court in right here in my sidebar. I know what your thinking, how do *I* get in on this hot moneymaking action? Just slide on in and start pimpin’ your products playa, it’s cool. I’ll be watching you though. So, please be aware that I’m aware. And I’ll be aware that you’re aware that I’m aware you’re aware I’m aware.

/crickets…

{tags pretty pretty flowers sidebar sales opportunities }

When I was young, we lived on the french side of St. Martin where I discovered the wonders of french bakeries. Born alongside a refined appreciation for pains au chocolat was my interest in the abundance of fruit growing wild on the island. I remember eating mango’s so savagely I would either hose myself down or jump in the ocean to rinse the sticky juices off. One of the cooler things were these little red berries that grew on cactus’s (cacti?), they were so sweet and hard to come by, I’d hunt for hours in the pastures for just a handful. Occasionally on these cactus fruit expeditions, I’d be lucky enough to find a sugar apple or two, wrap them up in the front of my t-shirt, and stash them away for later.

Besides hanging from a hammock in our ginnup tree eating the sweet little fruits within elbow’s reach, I would labor away at a delicacy that still remains one of my favorites today – a little something called Coconut Jellies. Basically it’s a coconut still young enough that the meat has not yet solidified. What you do is machete the coconut in half, and then with the tip of the knife, scrape the jellied meat from the sides and just slurp it right from coconut shell. It’s one of the most delicious and refreshing things on earth.

Yesterday, I brought home this beautiful papaya, another fruity treasure of my youth. It wasn’t quite ripe – still a bit green to be eaten alone. So, I got the idea to make a chilled soup since it’s been unbearably hot here lately. Turns out, this was exactly what the doctor ordered, cool and clean with just a light sweetness. I love plain greek style yogurt so I put a heaping spoonful on top with a sprinkle of maldon salt, and yum.

Fill pan about 1/4 full with water, add a pinch of salt, and bring to a boil. Cook carrots untill slightly soft and then add papaya, cooking for about another 5 minutes. Add the carrots and papaya into a food processor with about a cup of the cooking water.

Take a garlic press and squeeze the ginger into the mixture getting all the juice and little pieces out. Discard the fiberous bit that remains in the press. Blend on low intill relatively smooth adding more of the water if needed, salt, pepper, transfer to a bowl, and chill for about an hour before serving.

{tags coconut jellies sugar apples cactus fruit pains au chocolat}

How long befor the media starts calling Shiloh Pitt – Piloh Shit? It just flipflops in my brain for some reason. There’s no way I’m alone on this one! I can’t believe nobody has scampered off with the domain yet. Pony up, slackers.

{tags embarrassing insights}

I thought I’d share with you guys what we’ve been eating lately around here. These were two photo ops that came out both pretty enough to post and delicious enough to write about.

As you can see, the veggies, while uninspired, *are* roasted too perfection. I have a new plan of attack where I steam everything together in salted water untill just slightly tender. Adding the veggies in stages of thickness – potatos, then carrots, onions and more delicate items last keeps everything moving forward nicely. Then into a glass baking dish they all go with 2-3 swirls of olive oil. Roll everything around to coat lightly with olive oil, add salt and pepper and roast slow and low intill the highly sought after golden caramel color is achieved. I love the way the carrots curl up, don’t you?

Alternate title for this post is: ‘Fo’ Sizzle’. Oh no she did NOT go there!

{tags scallops halibut roasted veggies cannellini puree bechamel}

Max the Hammer *knows* he’s in trouble. Staying out all night, peeing on the porch, and now busted live on camera amidst his walk of shame. Those are most definately not the whiskers of an innocent kitty. It’s official.
{tags weekend cat blogging cute kitty}

{tags early morning inquisitions armstrong forest monsterous tree roots}

Buckle in and roll ‘em up friends, we’re going for a little ride. All of my ‘drafts’ dating too far back will be incorporated into one dangerous post. I understand the risks of holding your attention through all this self involved information. This is my blog bitches, stick around – I’m just getting warmed up.

>First up, the last episode of The OC. Carefull y’all, I doubt you’ve stepped in deeper puddles. Marissa Cooper is D-E-A-D? Coop? COOP?! They played ‘Halelujah’ as she slipped away from this cruel world that never understood her anyway?! I guess the writers were glad to see her go. Jalalujah! FOX, why do you hate Marissa so? WHY.

>Moving right along, Venom: Not The Band, The Lip Gloss. As a longtime glosser first time blogger, Lip Venom remains my favorite. It’s cinnamon, clear, thin, not sticky, perfect alone, or as a primer for some light color over the top. The packaging kicks the competition’s ass too with this cardboard tube that’s perfect for holding stray pills. Am I losing you yet? I’m going to finish strong, I promise.

>Next, a Grammatical Bulletin – The Apostrophe. Sorry to keep you waiting so long! Lets get right to it, for most of my life my name involved an apostrophe conveniently located between a rediculous arrangement of vowels. This little bugger was single handedly responsible for missed flights, incorrect credit cards, drivers licenses, marriage certificates, social security numbers, gang related turf wars, you name it. Even now with my tidy and definitive married name, the apostrophe still haunts me. Most recently he’s parked his obsructive little ass on a background check. Trust me on this one, you menacing bastard, there’s much worse than you in my tainted past so don’t even try. Please refer to this, I’m the hottie on the right.

>In Husband news, it ain’t easy being The Evil Overlord of the Criminal Underbelly of the Internet. Chris is working at myspace these days. And every time I turn around there’s another story about how it’s destroying the fabric of our vulnerable youth. I think it’s what you call a zeitgeist, this myspace dot com. Thank the lord myspace wasn’t around when I was a teenager. I probably would still be prisoner in Brunai performing sexual favors for some pervy sultan I agreed to meet at the roller rink in 1988 for an innocent game of Centepede.

>Finally, here are some pics from our recent trip to Sonoma.


Where we stayed, the Inman Winery at the Olivet House.

Dinner at Charlie Palmer’s Dry Creek.

Hawian Blue Prawn – fava beans, applewood smoked bacon, spring onions, oregano oil, tomato broth

Hog Island Sweetwater Oysters – on the 1/2 shell with verjus mignonette, sambal cocktail, lemon

Dungeness Crab Cake – smoked eggplant fondue, Love Farm’s sorrel, caper remoulade

Alaskan Halibut – artichokes, cipolini onions, tomato confit, boquerones, taggiasca olives, basil oil

King Salmon – poached with shrimp tortellini, young asparagus and five herb butter

Bacon Wrapped Pork Tenderloin – Tokyo turnip, fondant potato, braised Love Farm’s greens

Fourty-Eight Hour Braised Short Ribs – herbed mashed potatos, asparagus

Delicious Chocolatey Mandariney Moussey Desert to share with coffees and dessert wines

Ps. Note to the beautiful and charming Mary Leslie: Send me the quotes – I repeat – Send me the quotes. Kisses!
{tags lip gloss marissa cooper sonoma apostrophe yes}

{tags seasonal veggies artichokes}