{octopus balls}

I know it looks crazy you guys, but listen to this. So yesterday, a giant sea monster from the abyss showed up threatening to suction all of humanity into oblivion. Luckily for mankind though, I’m not the squeemish type. I *was* scared of the tentacles but who’s bigger, huh? Who?! Basically he attacked me, so I chopped his head and legs off and then ran for my life. That’s how it went down. After our battle, it was quite empowering to devour him. …Mumble, mumble, …mess with me! (swallow)
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This dish has that Spanish flavor combination that makes me positively crazy, the ingredients worked so perfectly together I can hardly stand it. It all started with the discovery of frozen arichokes whilst stalking the drumstick section of the frozen goods aisle. As I realized the excellence of this product, the possibilities overwelmed me right then and there. Three bags into my cart later I was off to the fancy cheese department where some chorizo lay vulnerable to my advances. I also lured in a nice hunk of parmesan with promises of being paired with artichokes and salmon in the near future. Sadly, I promptly burned the chorizo when I got home and had to toss it. My intention was to saute all the oil out until slightly chewy, then arrange pieces around the salmon, mmm. Not the case this time, here is how it turned out…

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bread is delivered with warm toasted almonds, warm fresh olives and a little shallow dish of sea salt, and butter

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In these parts, the ultimate form of dinner appreciation is to please clean and shatter your plate. Yes, shatter it. Then if you wouldn’t mind, kindly toss your cookies in the parking lot of the Beverly Hilton and call it a night. I don’t know how it’s done in other parts of the world, but that is how we do it here.

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Here at our place, we have a rare condition called Drumstick Poisoning. Wherein you eat so many Drumsticks that you feel drugged. This drugging causes such severe halucinations self justification that you convince yourself that the only cure for Drumstick Poisoning is to have another drumstick. Doctors orders.

Overdoses usually only occur in the presence of a multipak which are found in the most extreme of grocer’s freezers, mind you. Since I’m currently under the influence and cannot be trusted, the only advice I can offer is to avoid said multipak. Don’t even go there, talk to the hand!

After a particularly extreme onset last weekend and requisite consultation with my doctor, and by that I mean my cat, I bought Klondike bars which are allegedly the Methadone equivalent for Drumsticks.

It is distressing for me to announce, however, that we are now suffering from a new ailment called Acute Klondike Poisoning. Max is so fired as family doctor.

{tags drumstick poisoning klondike elixer}

That’s what we ate tonight. I know right? Seriously though you guys, pick your minds up from the gutter. This is a family site. It should be noted, Chris pointed out that the picture doesn’t look as appetizing as it should. It’s just one of those things that doesn’t photograph well (like meatballs). I tried several different outfits and locations for the shoot and this was the best I could do in the absence of a private island and wind machine.

I’ve never actually had Coq au Vin before but it’s been on my list for a while and I had all the ingredients so it appeared to be my calling. The neatest part is the flambé which was also a first for me – I felt so official. Flambé Officer at your service, how may I assist? This process only briefly induced sudden flashbacks to when Chris set our kitchen on fire, which I of course soldiered through for the good of the team. After all was said and done, I believe it was asked of me “Could this *be* any juicier?” before we both exchanged our forks for our greasy fingers and then whittled the leftover bones into wee little spears for protection against the natives*.
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As soon as I saw Mae’s recipe on riceandnoodles for these delicious rolls I knew I had to make them. Just look at the beautiful pictures on her site, how am I to resist?
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