{crispy and bursting with flavor, these little parcels are stuffed with pork, ginger, green onion, and sesame}

Aria Melonfish D’Antonio Bell here checking in to see if everyone survived the summer heat. I’ve been laying low, chewing ice in my foxhole; alas it’s getting cooler (patience grasshopper). This morning, still groggy with dreams of crispy wontons and traveling like an orangutan in the mist of dawn, I gathered necessary ingredients. All the while preparing myself mentally for the inconceivable act of frying, shudder, yes frying. This is what you’ll need:

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{The natural sweetness of oysters, against the earthy spinach and salty bacon is so delicious in each bite. Serve them on rock salt for for a dramatic effect guaranteed to impress!}

I planned to eat these on the half shell as per usual until one particular rambunctious oyster said “Oy Miss, look at how plump we are. Go beyond the fray and don’t look back!” Ooookay then, will do. Noted! I sneaked in a couple four, five raw while googling baked oysters. Not only did I decide on Oysters Rockefeller, but I found out Foxy Brown of Roc-a-Fella records is in prison again doing hard time. Something about parole violations, conking someone over the head with her blackberry, and flipping out in a nail salon. I can totally relate there. Anyhooo, (singsong voice) back to the oyyy-sters.

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{this curry, the most deceiving of all, has shrimp paste added to a GREEN curry. silly sinister curry crafters, why?}

{panang or RED curry, I can see the logic and maybe my own lack thereof landed me this unfriendly mixture containing shrimp paste. my bad!}

I’m allergic to shrimp eeeek! It’s not a problem because shrimps are big enough that if I set my mind to it, lobsters and shrimps won’t accidentally fall into my mouth. Ever subversive, however, are the pastes. It has it’s ways and wits about it, sneaky sneaky that one. Imagine my alarm when I noticed I didn’t notice the fine print. I was just so lost in the excitement of locating such wonderfully authentic curries, now boo!

These brand new still sealed cartons of curry deserve better than my dusty top shelf of the forgotten. It gets rowdy up there in the slums and I simply don’t think they can manage gang activity. So to rescue them from a life of despair I will mail them to you, as the winner of the In Your Face Shrimp Paste, Free Curry Contest!

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